Ten
minutes into Terminator Genisys (General Identification System {computer system
for biological identifications}
just
in case you thought it might just be a typo) I heard a very soft but distinct voice
speak to me:
” Listen, and understand! That
Terminator is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with.
It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop,
ever, until you are dead.”
It
was a warning from the future . . . from Sergeant Kyle Reese directly to me: “This
movie wants to kill you!”
Terminator:
Genisys is murderously slow and explicitly cumbersome. It’s an action film
without a lick of action in it. Oh, sure, there’s plenty of gunfire, lots of CGI
enhanced explosions (one of which is a rip off from The Matrix), car chases and
crashes, killer Terminator-exterminators, a slow motion sequence of a school bus
flipping over lengthwise across the Golden Gate Bridge leaving the occupants
(Sarah and Kyle) hanging Barrel of Monkeys style over the Golden Gate strait
looking all Wile E. Coyote eyed hoping that someone (I wonder who) will come along and
haul them out of danger—but all that doesn’t add up to much because action
isn’t guns going off, and special effects (practical or CGI), it’s not about
high speed chases and explosions . . .action is actors portraying characters
who are working as hard as they can (verbally and mentally as well as
physically) to protect their imaginary lives and defeat, hopefully, the bad cyborg monsters (oh, yeah, there appear
to be a LOT of them in this sequel) and win the day. . . . until, of course,
it’s time for the next installment of a new (and improved?) sci-fi soup
opera franchise: As the Terminator
Turns.
And
what about that acting! Boy, that’s where this movie really falls apart, there’s
no real acting going on, it’s just a herd of performers sputtering a bunch of
lines that make no sense to them or to the audience, “Just following orders,
sir!” stepping on the mark at the right time . . . turning left, right, smiling
on cue, crying on cue, yelling on cue and . . .
well, that’s about it. It’s not acting at all. It’s more like theatrical
calisthenics. Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) and Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney), our
time-crossed lovers have no “chemistry.” I hate using the word chemistry, but I
can’t think of any other word that can describe how dull, how plodding every
scene is when they are the focal point. Although most of the cast seems to be
just reciting lines, J. K. Simmons playing Detective O’Brian does a great job
in a role that doesn’t seem to have any real storytelling reason for even being
in this movie.
The
original Terminator (1984) was made for 6.5 million dollars. Terminator:
Genisys cost 170 million to produce and it’s a far, far less effective than the
original. My question to you, fellow time travelers . . . how in the hell is
that possible? How can anybody spend 170 million dollars on a movie and not
make really, really good one? Simple, they don’t worry about writing a great
script. All the money is spent on special effects because in their
little minds the only reason anyone goes to see an action film is to see
stunts, special effects and . . . well, you know the drill. Do yourself a
favor, skip Genisys, rent a copy of the original Terminator and see how a movie
SHOULD be made.
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