Jurassic World June 12, 2o15

Here’s the thing. Jurassic World is not a bad movie because it might be sexist. It’s not awful because the dinosaurs don’t have feathers even though all the leading  proctologist—oh, excuse me . . .  leading paleontologists say that REAL dinosaurs most certainly (at least for now) had feathers. And it’s not an awful movie because it’s racist, though it may well be exactly that. AND it’s not a bad movie because of whatever political or social rules that you, the audience, believe movies should always follow. The reason that there are glitches in this film is due solely to bad character development in the script.

The problem with the Claire Dearing  (Bryce Dallas Howard) character isn’t that she’s a low life corporate lap dog B**** in high heels. The problem is that she is not a character at all . . . she’s a plot point. Her whole reason for her existence in this make-believe world is to do one thing . . .get that big a** killer dinosaur that the scientists created out of its cage so IT can go KILL humans (and the other dinos it encounters) and just raise holy hell in this utopian, live action Disneyland that the producers and director and writers have created.

 

The same goes for the Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan) character. He’s not there to show the world how corporate bosses can be greedy, and at the same time, concerned about the wellbeing of the folks visiting his sideshow park. His job is to jump in that helicopter and smash it into the park's pterosaur aviary so all the cute little pterodactyls can fly around and terrorize and eat a lot of extras and one particularly nonessential character, the assistant to Ms. Dearing who was supposed to watch over Claire’s nephews.

 

Almost every supporting character in this movie was either totally unnecessary or used solely as a human prop. And while I’m on a rage: what the HECK is Jimmy Fallon even doing in this movie?! Don’t get me wrong. I love Jimmy Fallon, but in this movie? The gag of him showing up on in an instruction video inside the human hamster ball . . . is not funny, doesn’t at all fit in with the movie. I know, the director thought it would be cool to have Jimmy in his movie . . . but the bit is so haphazardly thrown into the flow of things that it just knocks the audience out of that reality the moviemakers are trying to establish.

My point is this: no matter what we say, we audience members go to the movies, to the theatre to SEE human characters go through their struggle for life, for happiness, for whatever it is that the characters hold dear. No, we don’t just go to see giant dinosaurs, or car crashes, or imaginary people eaten alive, or bombs blowing up buildings . . . we go to see “human” characters struggle to survive that which we REAL people struggle with every day, life. Yes, I said it! Life is far more dangerous and scary than any CGI dinosaur ever made. And we know it. We know it from the moment we step into that theatre, get our popcorn and our large ice teas with lots of ice. Yes, we know that what we are seeing is a representation of life, not real life. However, for us to believe in this imaginary world, we need a guide, a humanlike character, an imaginary person that we can trust. When the production team doesn’t create characters that walk and talk and behave like human beings . . .we know it. And once we know you’re conning us . . .well, good luck in getting us involved in your movie.

P.S. Soon more reviews will be available: Nightingale, Tomorrowland, San Andreas . . . and many more.