Suicide Squad August 5, 2016

"Yeah I am bothered about it, I think it sucks, obviously we worked hard and tried to give the fans what they wanted," Jay Hernandez - a.k.a. Diablo - tells Digital Spy. "It's weird that some of the criticism I heard was that it was 'too much like a comic book', in terms of you have these characters being objectified like Harley Quinn, there are just certain elements that are just part of being a comic book. If you're trying to portray that on a film, you have to stay true to that, because if you don't, the fans of the comics are going to be offended." He then went on to say that the critics can kiss his ass.

I feel Jay’s frustration with critics. I sure don’t like it when people get on me about my poetry, my acting, my art. I spend lots of time developing my skills for whichever artistic medium I’m working in and I’d like my endeavors to be appreciated and NOT bashed by some damn, dumb-ass critic who doesn’t know a damn thing about my chosen art form!

However,

There are a few points that Hernandez makes in his rant that might be the reasons why critics and fans aren’t “appreciating” this particular film.

1.  “. . . obviously we worked hard and tried to give the fans what they wanted . . .” well, there’s your first mistake. You can’t tell exactly what your audience wants because they don’t know, and there aren’t enough surveys, polls and pie charts in the universe that can tell you, “THIS is what the audience wants.”  Suicide Squad is chucked full of scenes we’ve already seen in other movies. Helicopter crashes, Katana sword fights and heroes in a battle for life against an army that out numbers them twenty (or more) to one— And while I’m thinking about it, what the hell is up with these omnipotent beings that create wimpy-ass armies to fight their battles? Enchantress is an all-powerful being, why she create a Burnt Marshmallow Army that Deadshot wipes out in seconds is a mystery to me! Okay, admittedly, the scene were Deadshot goes all John Wick on the BMA is really cool. However, the lead up to it was simply the same old same old.

2.  “. . . If you're trying to portray that (comic books) on a film, you have to stay true to that, because if you don't, the fans of the comics are going to be offended.” Listen, Fanboys/girls are going to be offended no matter what you put up on screen because you are messing with something dear to them. And—

Oops! Sorry. Anyway, the movie does have a lot of problems mainly due to trying to be too much “exactly” like the comic in structure. Your movie can’t be the comic book because  . . . IT’S a MOVIE! It’s a different medium. What works on the page does not necessarily work on screen. Granted, there are a lot of movies that have no respect for the original material and create a disrespectful mess by trying NOT to be the original, written material. But there are also many successful filmed versions of novels, comic books that are able to keep the spirit of the original piece of art and create something new and different. The Walking Dead TV show has even added at least one character, Daryl Dixon, who doesn’t exist in the original graphic novel. Game of Thrones has a heated battle going on between fans of the books and fans of the HBO series because the TV production varies a lot from the books. But arguably, the TV show is just as good as the original material.

So, Okay. Suicide Squad is pretty much a messed up child because his parents couldn’t decide how do bring him up right. However, what makes me a fan of this “hot mess” is the work of the actors. The characters are fascinating to me. Listen, any movie that has Viola Davis in it can’t be all bad. She is an actor’s actor, and her portrayal of a harder than hard-ass patriot rivals Samuel L.’s Nick Fury. And yeah, we all know that Will Smith loves to “standout” in a scene, but when he does it in this movie it is something special. And yeah, yeah, yeah, his acting in this flick is a lot like all his other movies where he has to play more “streetwise” than he really is, but there’s something special about a psychotic killer, Deadshot, who loves his daughter more than anything. The scene where Deadshot helps her with her geometry homework is . . . Priceless. For me, Margot Robbie’s naughty, sexy, sweetly sociopathic Harley Quinn is masterfully portrayed and— like my opinion or not— Jared Leto’s Joker as a new dimension to this beloved madman in clown white!

So, Suicide Squad isn’t, overall, the best comic book movie ever made but it’s a hell of a lot better (primarily because of the acting) than most critics and fans will admit.

MOVIE GRADE 70% = C-

OVERALL ACTING GRADE 89% = B+

Star Trek Beyond/Ghostbusters August o6, 2o16

"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before . . ." but not in this movie.

Finally! A Star Trek movie that breaks with the traditional: a script has got to say something about the human condition! Yeah, baby! We ain’t interested in that crap! Let’s just get to the action! No, not just action but action that is filmed so poorly that it’s unwatchable—Seriously, the first battle sequence where the Enterprise is totally destroyed (AGAIN!) had so much shaky cam going on that it made me physically sick—or  so laughable—I mean what the hell was that with the motorcycle and the portable transporter bit? I thought I was watching a Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon— and what the hell is it with alien Kung Fu? How did Jaylah, the beautiful alien scavenger, learn to use fake Chinese martial arts? Did Einstein get it wrong? It’s not time that’s a constant in the universe, it’s badly executed Kung Fu? I’m being a bit too hateful here. I don’t know for a fact that it was “baldy executed” martial arts (or that Einstein actually believed that time was a universal constant)  because it was gorged with shaky cam shots, close ups, a frigging car load of jump cuts and so much clutter that   . . . I COULDN’T SEE IT! What the hell, man? What is it with you guys; can’t you film a descent fight scene? If you don’t have a clue how to shoot fight action, checkout John Wick (2014) or the beautiful crafted Haywire (2011) or if you want learn how to stage a BIG battle sequence, study the Game of Thrones episode: Battle of the Bastards.

So, do I not have anything good to say about this movie? Well, the tribute to Leonard Nimoy was first class. They were able to blend it into the so called “storyline” naturally, and it was the best, best part of the movie. And the bromance scenes between Spock and Bones were really hilarious and . . . NEW RULE . . . Simon Pegg needs to be in every movie . . . no seriously, every movie ever to be made.

Grade: 70% = C-

I know this is supposed to be a review about the movie Ghostbusters and not a critique on social norms and fan behavior, but with the most recent twitter attack directed at Leslie Jones (who portrays Patty Tolan in Ghostbusters) I can’t get on with the review until I’ve had my say. You folk who are shocked, dismayed and angered that anyone would dare remake a far too precious classic like Ghostbusters  . . . get over yourselves. It’s not like they burnt up every copy of the original Ghostbusters and said, “Thou shalt watch no other GBers but the one WE made in 2016!” You can still watch the original anytime you want. Hell, TCM has been showing the original and the sequel at least twice a day all last week.  What difference does it make if we get a remake? Nothing’s lost! The original is still the original. And also, what the hell is all these nastiness about the remake being an all women Ghostbusters? Again . . . so what? “Oh, but it’s so sacrilegious! Only GUYS can ghost bust!” YIKERS! What? Did we time warp back to the fifties? No, my brothers and whichever misguided females may be in this herd of haters, it’s the 21^st century and artists should be able to do whatever they think will work even if it is going against traditional type casting. It’s a new century my pretties, Time you all realized that. That doesn’t mean that you have to like what the studios put out there. No, you can raise artistic questions about the movie based on production quality the acting, the direction, script, etc., just don’t incite the villager to charge Frankenstein’s castle while yelling “KILL THE MONSTER!” when there is no monster to kill. And don’t give actors a hard time; don’t make your attack personal. There are quite a few times in my reviews when I “go off” on actors. But it’s based solely on their acting skill (or lack thereof) and not on what they look like, what gender they are, Their RACE?!  Seriously, are we still talking about RACE?! Okay, I know we are and I know that it is a touchy subject that our bastard American ancestors started way back . . . when they thought enslaving a people was a really cool economic idea. Yes, we still have a racial divide in this country . . . but we shouldn’t have one when it comes to acting because . . . Hamlet, Othello, Blanche Dubois  . . . these are literary characters. They don’t have a race because they are not real people. Actors, no matter what the Chevy commercial says, are real people and we should like them or not like them based on their skills as actors and nothing else. Anyway . . .

Ghostbusters (2016) is an extremely funny movie. I, my sister and the whole audience, (which included a bunch of little kids that really thought the fart humor was quite  . . . hilarious!) were cracking up.  And yes, Okay, I admit, we adults found the fart joke pretty funny also. For me, the funniest scene had the Ghostbusters interviewing the very sexy Kevin, played by Chris Hemsworth, for a receptionist job. The funny part is that Kevin is a total airheaded honey baby that can’t even answer a phone or take a message, but they hire him anyway because he is some sweet eye-candy. Yeah, the GUY is eye-candy! Get it?

The problem with Ghostbusters isn’t that it’s NOT funny because it is. It’s just funny in the wrong way. What? How can that be? Well, this Ghostbusters feels more like a series of unrelated SNL skits stitched together without any thought as to whether they relate to the main storyline, which involves busting ghosts! The movie isn’t titled, “Hey! There Are Not Enough Wonton In My Wonton Soup!” Yeah, the recurring wonton soup bit was funny, but how does it advance the story? For my sensibilities, humor in a movie is funnier when it relates to the story, when it is generated by the main actions of the characters. And speaking of character? Every character in this movie is a funny character. There is no “straight man” to bounce the comedy off of. Nothing is funny if everything, every moment is a punchline to a joke. Also, Ghostbusters lacks even a tiny bit of scary. The main antagonist, the “evil” dude who wants to bring forth a supernatural apocalypse is just way too goofy to be taken seriously.

Overall, it’s not a bad movie; it’s just not inspiring enough to give it more than one watch. And that’s a shame. You have these top of the heap comedians without a well-crafted storyline and funny lines that make no sense within the context of that storyline. So, who you gonna call? Ghost writers!

Grade: 76% = C+